An alarm wasn’t set. There was no path carved in stone. Sometimes you need to forget the to-do list and just be. I knew I was going to open my eyes today and flow with the day; whatever came, I would let it. And I’m strolling down the road, watching the shades of my mind make art- I’m feeling good and thinking better. And of course I probably should have been a little more tuned into reality as I try to cross the road. A tiny step off the path after proceeding to the wrong green light and there’s a horn beeping and a man cursing. So, naturally, there’s a little part of myself consenting his curses as accurate. And then I have the moment. The moment I live for- that one second of transformation that you assess a situation and simply choose to disagree. Anything can change in a second.
That man, whoever he is, fell victim to the dynamic second. Yes, I was at fault but he let one second defeat him. He threw hate into the world and because of that he’s probably somewhere cursing the road for him being late, cursing the woman in a shop slowing him down, cursing the universe for this shit-show of a day he’s having. That’s not on me. That’s on him. He didn’t create the situation but he produced the reaction. Hate is magnetic and once it’s released, it will keep attracting forces to multiply, to intensify, to feed off you. When you go head to head with hate, not only will you lose but there will be no winners. The hate you emit in the atmosphere will be breathed in by someone in the proximity (like I could have today) and domino until the whole day has been poisoned, and eventually until a whole society is.
It never registers with us how casual and mainstream hate can become. It’s everywhere, disguised as ‘the way it is’. One of the sole reasons I have memories on Facebook is to look back on the person I was and be overcome with gratitude that I’m not there anymore. Every status, every update was another complaint with my life. There’s a reason the things, the feelings I hadn’t wanted kept resurfacing; I was throwing them at myself. The energy I was presenting to the universe was tainted and so everything the universe gave me, would be just that. I was so absorbed with hate that I forgot that falling in love with life is always an option. When you fall in love with the intricate details of your life, and the entirety of what you are, there isn’t much room for hate to occupy. I have grown away from hate. I have grown from love. I will not throw hate into a world that has more than enough. Instead I will always seek to be the colour in a black and white world. It doesn’t need to be hate vs love, or good vs evil, or you vs me, or us vs them. Making life a battle gives the negative an advantage. We’re all here, wherever here is for us, and instead of adding bricks to someone’s burden, just give love and be love. Change one thought everyday when that testing ‘one second moment’ materializes. Things can wrong in a second.
But they can also go very right.