An alarm wasn’t set. There was no path carved in stone. Sometimes you need to forget the to-do list and just be. I knew I was going to open my eyes today and flow with the day; whatever came, I would let it. And I’m strolling down the road, watching the shades of my mind make art- I’m feeling good and thinking better. And of course I probably should have been a little more tuned into reality as I try to cross the road. A tiny step off the path after proceeding to the wrong green light and there’s a horn beeping and a man cursing. So, naturally, there’s a little part of myself consenting his curses as accurate. And then I have the moment. The moment I live for- that one second of transformation that you assess a situation and simply choose to disagree. Anything can change in a second.

That man, whoever he is, fell victim to the dynamic second. Yes, I was at fault but he let one second defeat him. He threw hate into the world and because of that he’s probably somewhere cursing the road for him being late, cursing the woman in a shop slowing him down, cursing the universe for this shit-show of a day he’s having. That’s not on me. That’s on him. He didn’t create the situation but he produced the reaction. Hate is magnetic and once it’s released, it will keep attracting forces to multiply, to intensify, to feed off you. When you go head to head with hate, not only will you lose but there will be no winners. The hate you emit in the atmosphere will be breathed in by someone in the proximity (like I could have today) and domino until the whole day has been poisoned, and eventually until a whole society is.

It never registers with us how casual and mainstream hate can become. It’s everywhere, disguised as ‘the way it is’. One of the sole reasons I have memories on Facebook is to look back on the person I was and be overcome with gratitude that I’m not there anymore. Every status, every update was another complaint with my life. There’s a reason the things, the feelings I hadn’t wanted kept resurfacing; I was throwing them at myself. The energy I was presenting to the universe was tainted and so everything the universe gave me, would be just that. I was so absorbed with hate that I forgot that falling in love with life is always an option. When you fall in love with the intricate details of your life, and the entirety of what you are, there isn’t much room for hate to occupy. I have grown away from hate. I have grown from love. I will not throw hate into a world that has more than enough. Instead I will always seek to be the colour in a black and white world. It doesn’t need to be hate vs love, or good vs evil, or you vs me, or us vs them. Making life a battle gives the negative an advantage. We’re all here, wherever here is for us, and instead of adding bricks to someone’s burden, just give love and be love. Change one thought everyday when that testing ‘one second moment’ materializes. Things can wrong in a second.

But they can also go very right.

 

 

 

Fearless or Fearing Less?

There are certain buzzwords that are catalysts for the soul. It ranges from the depth and preference of each soul but personally, ‘fearless’ kindles something in me. No matter what phase of life you’re following or leading, fearlessness should always be the incentive in creating your best self. Fear is so commonly misconstrued in society today. It’s not to be avoided but to be overcome. Telling a world that has grown from a foundation of fear not to feel it, is as futile as telling a lion not to bite. The thing with fear is it will never be totally absent; it clings to the atmosphere like a spirit with unfinished business. So yes feel your fear because you will never escape it if you don’t acknowledge it. Study it. Learn with it. Then, when you know all you can about it- stare at it. Stare at it until you’re not the one flinching. I’ve seen fear in the flesh, and I’ve given it the kiss of death. I’ll never not battle with fear but I refuse to lie down. I stand tall, taller than fear to be one step closer to fearlessness. Every decision, every road, every turn, twist and tangle of the unknown- fear will be waiting at the destination. I walk with fear but I lead. When you fear less you quieten the voice in your head, that unqualified voice, that tells you you’re not enough. (Spoiler alert: you are).

The difference between fearless and fear less is the little gap in between. And the difference between the fearless and those who fear less is the gap in where they have been and where they choose to go. The fearless have felt the most fear but have came the farthest. Those fearing less are the dreamers and the thinkers, the doers and those in progress. When we don’t allow fear to possess our bodies and feed on our soul, we will win. Always. Fear doesn’t have to be a monster unless you make it one. Master it or be mastered. Feel your fear but beautify it. Every time that doubt creeps in or that voice screams your insecurities, just know it is only a fractional burden of the greatness you can be. Every time a negative energy floats through your body, think how much prettier it would be if it was positive. Select and refine your thoughts, as you would when shopping until you leave only the truly beautiful. The brave are those who embrace the fear. The great are not those who do not fear, but those who use it as a ladder for where and who they want to be. And the beat-down and forgotten will be those fear dominates.

Be fearless in being the person you are.

We weren’t old then, sure look at us now.

When does old begin?

When does the whisper of death, that was once a haze in the distance, become a scream a few inches from your face?

This isn’t as morbid as it sounds (I promise), it’s actually quite positive, if you stick with me.

There are a few colossal themes that dictate our obsessions and anxieties; death, money; time. Quite basically- it all comes down to numbers; the number of days left, the location of the zero-before or after- the other numbers in an account, number of minutes in a day, number of days in a life. We’ve become so accustomed to counting that we’re actually rather good at it. But where the struggle seeps in is the actually making days count. Time flies and it rolls onto the next but it never just happens. We post throwbacks longer than we spent living and enjoying the moment we were in. We tirelessly fantasize the future, without ever sculpting it from the present. We’re not so good at the here and now. There always needs to be a larger thought process in which we are in the middle of.

What is the actual point of photos? And, who are they for? I, personally, hoard photos and every single time that little “your storage is full” bullshit message pops up I can’t bear to part with the photos that are looked at, less than three times in any given month. The moment loses value, the moment reliving takes priority over living. You can’t relive life and if you do it properly, you shouldn’t need to.

My nanny inspired this thought earlier when we were sharing stories and laughs. Talking about the ‘old days’ and she said “we weren’t old then, sure look at us now”. And it hit home for me because you never know when your time of putting dents in the dance-floor, becomes your time of watching from the sidelines. They didn’t have phones- and they didn’t need them… They were living. And the reliving is only possible because the living was.

The message of this is not anti-phone (as we are the scrolling thumb generation) but pro-live and predominately, pro-living-well. Don’t spend your time, as doing so presumes the immediate relinquishing of it. But soak up your time. Soak in every second and Continue reading “We weren’t old then, sure look at us now.”

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